AP English Language · Lesson 3

Argument: thesis, evidence and commentary

Know Know it

The argument essay asks you to take a position on an issue and defend it with evidence from your own reading, observation and experience. There are no sources: the evidence comes from you.

A defensible thesis takes a position someone could reasonably dispute and previews why. A fact (“Many schools have dress codes”) and a topic (“Dress codes: a debate”) are not theses.

Each body paragraph makes one claim, gives specific evidence (a named example, an event, a number, a precise observation), and adds commentary that explains how the evidence supports the claim. The claims together form your line of reasoning, so put them in an order that builds.

Strong arguments answer an objection: state it fairly, grant what is true in it (a concession), then give a rebuttal. A qualification, a limit on your own claim such as “in most cases” or “for younger students,” makes a position more precise without weakening it.

One body paragraph, piece by piece (a fictional essay on keeping a school library open after hours)
PieceExample sentence
ClaimKeeping the library open until six would help students who have nowhere quiet to work.
EvidenceWhen our library stayed open late during exam week, every table was full by four o’clock.
CommentaryThose full tables show the demand is real: students stayed because the library gave them something home could not.

Trap Evidence is not commentary

A paragraph of examples with no explanation leaves the reader to do your thinking. After each piece of evidence, write at least one sentence that says how it proves your claim.

Don’t confuse a counterargument with a change of mind. Granting part of an objection is a strength only if you then show why your position still holds.

Worked example Easy

Which sentence is a defensible thesis for an argument essay about holding some classes outdoors?

  1. Some schools around the country now hold a few of their classes outdoors whenever the weather is nice enough to do so.
  2. Teachers should hold some classes outdoors in good weather, because fresh air and movement help students focus.Answer
  3. Outdoor classes are a really important topic that affects many students, teachers and families today.
  4. In this essay, I will discuss the many different sides of the question of whether classes should be outdoors.

How to solve it

  1. A thesis must take a position someone could dispute.
  2. Only one choice says what should happen and why.

Why each choice is right or wrong

  • A. Incorrect. This only reports that some schools hold classes outdoors, a fact no one would dispute, so it takes no position.
  • B. Correct. It takes a position a reasonable person could dispute (some classes should be outdoors) and gives a reason that the essay can support.
  • C. Incorrect. This names a topic and calls it important, but it never says what should be done.
  • D. Incorrect. This announces a discussion instead of taking a position.

Explain Explain it

Task verbs: construct, support

Commentary answers the question “So what?” after each piece of evidence. Useful openings include this shows, because, which means and so. If you can delete a sentence of commentary and the paragraph loses nothing, it was only repeating the evidence.

Worked example Medium

The following is a student’s draft of a body paragraph from an argument essay, written for Peakscor practice; the student is fictional. It may need revision.

(1) Schools should let students retake a major test once. (2) Last year my geometry teacher allowed one retake per unit for students who first finished a review sheet. (3) Lots of people in my class did better on the retake. (4) The point of a test is to show what a student has learned, and a student who masters circles a week late has still mastered circles. (5) Retakes also make students more willing to ask for help, since a low score becomes a reason to review instead of a final verdict. (6) Some teachers worry that students will stop preparing for the first attempt.

Which sentence in the draft is commentary that explains why the evidence supports the writer’s claim?

  1. Sentence 2
  2. Sentence 3
  3. Sentence 4Answer
  4. Sentence 6

How to solve it

  1. Sentence 1 is the claim; sentences 2 and 3 give evidence.
  2. Sentence 4 explains why that evidence matters for the claim: that is commentary.
  3. Sentence 6 turns to an objection.

Why each choice is right or wrong

  • A. Incorrect. Sentence 2 is evidence: it describes the geometry teacher’s retake policy.
  • B. Incorrect. Sentence 3 is evidence (vague evidence) about how students did on the retake, not an explanation of it.
  • C. Correct. Sentence 4 explains the principle that links retakes to the claim: a test measures learning, and late learning is still learning.
  • D. Incorrect. Sentence 6 introduces a counterargument, a worry of some teachers, rather than explaining the evidence.

Construct Your turn

Here is a weak thesis for an argument essay on whether towns should require dog owners to license their dogs: “Many towns have dog licensing laws.” Rewrite it as a defensible thesis that takes a position and gives a reason.

Write it, then compare. Nothing you type here is saved or graded.

Compare with a model answer

A full answer does this

  • Takes a clear position on whether towns should require dog licenses
  • Gives at least one reason for that position

Model answer

Towns should require dog licenses, because a license tag helps lost dogs get home quickly and the small fee helps pay for the shelter that cares for dogs no one claims.

Apply Apply it

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