AP English Language · Free-response skill

Build a claim, then back it with evidence and commentary

The move. Choose evidence that fits a position, state a claim with a reason, write commentary that explains a piece of evidence, and answer the strongest objection.

How to do it

  1. Before you write, sort the evidence: which facts help your position, and which would an opponent use? You need both lists, one to build your case and one to answer.
  2. Your thesis states the position and gives a reason that your evidence can back up.
  3. After a piece of evidence, write commentary: what it suggests, and why that matters for your position. A sentence that only repeats the evidence, without saying why it matters, is summary, not commentary.
  4. Name the strongest objection fairly, then give a reason your position still holds. Repeating your position is not an answer.

Practice prompt Try it

Original notes written for Peakscor practice; the towns, people and numbers are invented. A railroad line through the town of Brannock closed ten years ago, and its tracks have been removed. The town council is deciding whether to turn the old line into a paved walking and biking trail. A reporter gathered these notes:

  • Note 1: In a town survey of 400 residents, 230 said they would use the trail at least once a week.
  • Note 2: Building the trail would cost about 1.5 million dollars, all of it from the town’s road-repair fund. The town engineer says that would delay repaving Brannock’s three most damaged streets by about four years.
  • Note 3: In Rexford, a nearby town that opened a trail on an old rail line four years ago, shops within two blocks of the trail reported 18 percent higher sales the year after it opened.
  • Note 4: Twenty-two of the 31 homeowners whose yards border the old line signed a letter opposing the trail because of privacy and noise.

Suppose you are writing an argument that Brannock should build the trail. Use the notes to answer each part.

  1. Which two notes support building the trail?
  2. Write a thesis sentence that argues Brannock should build the trail and gives one reason based on one of those two notes.
  3. Note 3 reports higher sales at shops near a trail in Rexford. Write one or two sentences of commentary on what a trail could mean for shops near Brannock’s old rail line.
  4. Which note would an opponent most likely use to argue about the town’s money?
  5. Note 2 says the trail would delay repaving three streets by about four years. Use Note 1 to give a reason the trail is worth that delay.

Write each part, then check yourself against the checklist. Nothing you type here is saved or graded.

Check yourself and see a model answer

Checklist

Our own checklist of what a full answer does, one line per point. Tick each one your response earns.

0 of 5 points

Model answer, annotated

(a) Note 1 and Note 3 support building the trail: Note 1 reports that most residents surveyed would use it, and Note 3 reports higher sales at shops near a trail in a nearby town.

  • Point 1 Names Notes 1 and 3 and no other note.

(b) Brannock should turn the old rail line into a trail, because more than half of the residents surveyed say they would use it at least once a week.

  • Point 2 Gives a reason based on Note 1: residents’ weekly use.

(c) If shops near Rexford’s trail sold 18 percent more the year after it opened, Brannock’s shops near the old line could gain customers too. The trail would then help the town’s businesses, not only the people who walk and bike on it.

  • Point 3 Says what the Rexford rise suggests for Brannock’s shops and ties it to building the trail.

(d) An opponent would most likely use Note 2, because the trail’s cost would come from the road-repair fund and delay repaving three streets.

  • Point 4 Names Note 2, the cost taken from road repairs.

(e) A four-year delay on three streets is a real cost, but Note 1 shows that more than half of the residents surveyed, 230 of 400, would use the trail at least once a week, so it would serve many people week after week.

  • Point 5 Uses Note 1’s finding, 230 of 400 residents using the trail weekly, as the reason.